Life and Career Coaching For Men Aged 35 to 55
Want a New Lease of Life and to do Work That Matters?
Blokes can have it tough in midlife. That’s where I come in. I work with a range of blokes, from many different industries or professions, but what they all have in common is that they’re generally in a high-level job as a manager, lead, senior, director or executive. Or they might be a doctor, lawyer, consultant, engineer, scientist, or something similar.
But the catch is, that despite their impressive career achievements, they feel burned out, bored, stuck, trapped, imprisoned, lost, directionless or completely alone. They might even dread the thought of being in their current career for the rest of their life.
Alternatively they’ve achieved all their life and career goals but now they’re left thinking what do I do now?…there is nothing to aim for!
Other clients want a career change, to slow down or to plan for part-time work in retirement but they don’t know what else to do.
If any of this sounds like you too, you’ve come to the right bloke. Here’s a quick flavour for what life coaching and career coaching will give you.
Life Coaching
Life coaching will give you a sounding board and an external third party outlet to talk to who will “get you” and get what you’re going through. By being understood, you’ll feel like you’re not alone with your problems and someone’s in your corner. From this foundation, we make forward progress. We will get you unstuck, get you thinking the right way, get you to change gears, and give you new goals, aims and direction in life.
Career Coaching
Career coaching will give you the road map for a career change, to try something new, to find your next thing, to build something on the side, to reinvent your career or to phase out work towards retirement. These pathways will tap new wellsprings of meaning and purpose, so you wake up every morning, do something hands-on people-focused that matters and feel like you make a difference in the world.
So if you’re between 35-55, and it’s life coaching or career coaching you’re after, you’ve come to the right bloke.
P. 0427 390 970
I’m your man if you agree with any of these statements:
Career and Work
You don’t find happiness, fulfilment or enjoyment in your job
Your job is “not the right fit” “It’s a thankless demanding job” or “your job is killing your soul”
You’re bored
You don’t want to be a “(insert your job title)” anymore
You have all the symbols of a successful professional career - high-level role, impressive salary, big house, luxury car, yet you feel “empty” “soulless” “hollow” “vacant” or “dead” inside
A redundancy is on it’s way and you’re wondering “what do I do next?”
You fear you’re not heading in the right direction
There’s no meaning and purpose in what you do
You’re stuck at a crossroads
You want a career change, but think “I have a mortgage and kids” “I’m too old to start over” “I don’t know which direction to take” “I don’t know what else to do” “this is all I know”
You’ve lost ambition or “you’re an ambitionless man”
You’ve had enough of the corporate world and want out
You don’t feel valued, appreciated or respected
You “compromise your integrity for a pay check” or stay in the job just for the money
You’re not coping well with the high pressure, politics and competition
You’ve hit the peak of your career but think “what next?”
You’ve hit a glass ceiling and you’ve been passed over for promotions
You don’t respect the company you work for, or you don’t get on with your boss or employer
The stress from the long hours, heavy workload, and unrealistic expectations at work is “not sustainable”
Life and Lifestyle
You feel “stuck” “trapped” “imprisoned” “powerless” and are “unable to see a way out.” You want to escape with thoughts of “if only…”
You dread life’s monotony “the constant treadmill” “on the hamster wheel” “the daily grind” and “the same old thing”
You dread the thought that the next 20-30 years will be a continuation of your current situation
You think “what the fu*k am I doing with my life?”
You’ve never really slowed down
You’re “locked in a lifestyle” or “suffocated by your lifestyle”
You feel like “it’s just work and home” there is no ‘life’
You “don’t have your life under control”
You feel confused, lost or uncertain about your future
You feel like you’re “playing a character” “following rules” or “following a script” in life
You’ve “ticked all the boxes” and feel like “you should be happy” but you’re not
You feel like you’re “living someone else’s life” living up to the expectations of parents, colleagues or society
You make decisions because they look good, but they’re not for you
You feel a deep sense that “something's missing”
You fear your own death or feel that your “time is running out” or “life is passing you by”
You’re weighing up past life choices and regret previous decisions
You compare yourself to others and get hung up on what you ‘should’ have at your stage of life
You’ve lost contact with friends
You feel disconnected, isolated, “on your own” or alone
Partner and Family
Family life is demanding. You’re the sole “breadwinner” and “provider” but feel “burdened” “anchored” “bound” “limited” or “weighed down” by financial responsibilities, parental duty and dependants
You’ve had a recent relationship break-up, separation, divorce or loss
You’ve separated or divorced and have limited access to your children
You’re in family court battling to get custody of your children
You’re either in “dad mode” or “work mode” but wonder “who am I?” underneath?
You’re in “survival mode” “struggling to find time” “organising daily logistics” and “putting out spot fires”
You fear that you’re doing parenting wrong, feel inadequate (less skilled/less competent) as a dad, or you don’t have the time to learn and practice parenting skills
You’ve lacked a father figure role model & mentor to guide and explain life, or there was an absence of good fathering in your life
Your partner is not happy with you working long hours
You’re not present with your partner or kids
Your parents are ageing and you’re grappling with “how much do you put your life on hold” to look after them versus “living your own life”
Physical Health and Mental Health
You’ve got concerns about your physical health - you’re overweight, unfit, have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, headaches, shingles, skin conditions (hives, eczema), irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), stomach problems (gas, pain, bloating, acid reflux, diarrhoea), or suffer from neck, shoulder, hip or back pain
You feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of responsibilities, emotions, thoughts and challenges that are involved in just getting through the day
You’ve hit your breaking point or you could have a mental breakdown
You feel rundown, fatigued, exhausted, “physically shot” or burnt out and just want a break
You’re mentally frustrated, depressed, stressed or anxious
You bottle things up
You’re feeling “numb” and don’t care about anything - even the things you used to care about a lot
You’ve lost motivation and “struggle to get out of bed in the morning”
You find yourself having a “short fuse” and lose your temper more often
You have frequent insomnia or don’t sleep well
You cope by smoking, vaping, drinking, over eating, using drugs or gambling
Is this you?
(This is a common client situation)
You’re aged 42 to 45, with a wife and two to three kids aged 3 to 12.
You’re a manager, executive or director in IT, planning, construction or sales and have been in your current job for 7-15 years.
You’re on a good wicket. You’ve got a comfortable lifestyle, go on nice holidays, head to the beach house or family farm for school hols and get out on the road bike or golf course occasionally.
Your last child has just started long day care or primary school. Your wife, who did the lion’s share of the parenting, now with free time, has gone back into the workforce or has started a new career, and is out gymming, doing Pilates or socializing. While your wife, with her new freedoms, has a spring in her step and a new lease of life, for you it’s the opposite.
At home, you were the sole “provider” but with your wife now bringing in income, you don’t feel needed or valued like you used to be. This has left you feeling unsure of the role you now play. With your wife out socialising, her attention is on friends instead of you. You’ve lost contact with your mates. Physically, you feel old and your body aches. It’s a distant memory to be fit and strong. At work, you’ve achieved all your goals and think “what do I do now?” The result is that at work you’re bored and feel trapped in the monotony of the “daily grind” and “the same old thing.” It all feels pointless.
The whole situation leaves you feeling stuck, confused, numb and “on your own.” You don’t know how to resolve the problem or what direction to take to get out of it. You don’t know any different than “doing mode” so doing more at work feels like the only strategy. So, you work bigger hours, compete for promotions and demand pay rises. But that doesn’t resolve the problem. As a last resort, you have fantasies of escaping from it all; into nature, buying a farm or dropping out of life entirely.
You want to talk about it but can’t explain why you feel like you do and anyway “nobody would get it.”
Your wife, colleagues or friends notice that you’re not your usual self. They say, “you should see a life coach or career coach.” They may even look up coaches for you and give you recommendations. But, you tell yourself “you shouldn’t feel like this” and put off looking into it.
But then usually after physical health problems or fears of your own death, things hit a whole new level - you look up a coach and give me a call.
Life doesn’t have to be like this.
There is a better way.
What makes me different from all the other coaches?
Credibility
Knowledge
Service
What have you got to lose?
P. 0427 390 970
What blokes are saying
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Ben, 43, Executive General Manager
“I called Tom at the urging of my wife, after I ran out of excuses for working the way I was. Previously, I didn’t believe in this type of coaching and didn’t think it would change me. I am so glad that I was so wrong. Tom is amazing to work with, easy to talk to, understood what I was going through (as he’s been through it himself) and tailored the approach for my situation. I’m now feeling happy and rejuvenated in a way I didn’t know was possible. Call this bloke now!”
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Owen, 37, Development Manager
“Tom worked with me to map out a trajectory and break that down into steps and short term manageable tasks. I experienced my life through my own steps, normally given to me by career promotions or shiny corporate objects, but not necessarily through planning out long-term goals or understanding who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. I found Tom once I had become frustrated with my career which had up until that point provided a lot of justification for my self-worth and confidence. Tom very patiently worked with me to map out who I am, who I am not and what I wanted to do. Loaded with this new roadmap and lens through which to see the world has created a sense of confidence to create my own lanes, understand what value I add and what I am possible of. I am forever grateful to Tom for his work and everything he has done for me.”
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Mark, 47, Operations Manager
“It’s not just career coaching or life coaching - it feels like a service tailored just for me. Tom is so great at cutting through the bullshit, identifying the real problems, and finding the clarity to get past them.”
Booking an Appointment & Fees
Coaching Appointments are Walk & Talk’s a.k.a Man Walks or “Malking”
How Walk & Talks Helps Blokes
“Men don’t talk face to face, they talk shoulder to shoulder.” -Men’s Shed
Born out of COVID, walk & talks are now a staple of coaching. Combining coaching + exercise, men like walk & talks. So much so, that one bloke called it “malking.” 90% of coaching appointments are now walk & talks.
Walk & talks remove barriers to help men talk. Here’s how:
Instead of sitting face to face, making direct eye contact, which can feel like “they are under the microscope”, we’re walking together side by side, shoulder to shoulder. Looking forward, rather than directly at each other helps blokes open up.
Instead of feeling overwhelmed by opening up, it helps to get up and get moving. The natural rhythm of walking calms blokes down which one bloke said “helps me get to the gold.”
Instead of being in a room, which can feel like being “stuck inside these four walls”, walking is literally moving forward. This helps blokes get “unstuck” and feel like they are moving forward with their issues.
Instead of wearing the usual work gear – “their suits of armour” – they can drop the armour and turn up in sweat pants, hoodies and sneakers, which helps blokes loosen up and “be themselves.”
Instead of a plain office, they’re out in nature. Being in nature helps blokes unwind and see their lives as part of the bigger picture.
The Walk & Talk Meeting Location and Walking Route
The walk & talk’s meeting location is Halcyon Days Cafe (click link for google maps) or address is: Halcyon Days Cafe, 381 Montague Street, Albert Park, 3206. If you're driving, there is plenty of 2 hr and 4 hr parking around. If you're getting the train/tram, you can take the no.12 tram from the CBD to Albert Park, 3206. The closest stop on the no.12 is Stop #132 Canterbury/Albert Road near Melbourne Sports and Aquatic Centre (MSAC). From there it's a 2 min walk to Halcyon Days Cafe. From the meeting point at Halcyon Days we do the walk & talk around Albert Park lake
Zoom
For international, interstate, country Victoria clients or if the weather is too bad, or anyone preferring not to do walk & talks, we meet via zoom.
Booking an Appointment
To book an appointment give me a call on 0427 390 970
Appointments are available @ 10am or 2pm Monday to Friday.
Coaching appointments are 2 hours. Men like the 2 hour appointment because “you get more done than in just 1 hour and get more value in return for the time and effort to show up to the appointment.”
Walk & talk appointments start from Halcyon Days Cafe, 381 Montague Street, Albert Park, 3206
Fees
Coaching fee: $225 per hour.
Coaching appointments are 2 hours = $450 per coaching appointment.
Payment
Following an initial phone conversation and booking an appointment, I will send an invoice upfront for $450 with my banking details. The invoice is to be paid prior to the appointment.
Find Out More
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About Me
I’ve been in your shoes, so I understand what you’re going through, and I know how to help.
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Coaching Model
Getting you what you want in midlife.
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Call Me
Give me a buzz to start the life you want.
