Ever wished someone would swoop in and give you direction in midlife?

Well, that wish just came true.

Hi! I’m Tom - and I want to help you get what you want in midlife.

Because midlife is for feeling alive.

And I never want you to spend another day in midlife hating your job, 3rd coffee in hand by 9am, eating your lunch over your keyboard, then going home at 7pm, just in time to put the kids to bed, then opening your laptop to catch up on emails and finally drinking six stubbies just to forget about your day, right before you collapse in bed…only to wake up at 3am thinking about work.

Then getting up the next day dreading the monotony of getting on the treadmill and doing the same old thing all over again.

I know what it’s like to tirelessly climb the corporate ladder

I’ve been in your shoes chasing the high-level roles, the dream job, the money and the success.

I’d spent my late 20’s doing just that. I landed my dream job in 2013, age 29 - project managing the construction of a famous $30 million dollar sports facility. But, halfway through my dream job, the intense competition, aggression and high pressure that dominated my days had left me stressed and burnt out.

The reality was very different than the dream. Even with the money and success, the corporate world wasn’t worth it. Work/life balance did not exist. 70-hour weeks were the norm. I didn’t feel valued of respected. And I’d had it with the unrealistic expectations, heavy work load, the unreasonable work hours, watching colleagues be unfairly dismissed and the “churn and burn” mentality.

On top of that, I was sick of spending so much of my precious time away from the people that mattered most to me - my girlfriend, friends and family. But, what tipped me over the edge was being cheated out of bonus’s and being made to do morally unjust things.

I needed to get out of the corporate world. But how?

I know what it’s like to want to get out of the corporate world but not know how

I longed to have control of my life, to flick the bird to the corporate world, walk out and do something meaningful. But I felt trapped with no way out. I desperately wanted to get out. But how? and to do what? I didn’t know what else to do or what direction to take.

But then, during that project, I found a cause worth the risk of leaving the corporate world for. I was ticked off with tradies getting screwed over by bigger builders. I said to myself “enough!” and found a way to fight.

So, after finishing that project, The Glasshouse for Collingwood Football Club which actually went on to win several awards, in November 2015, age 31, I left the corporate world and started my own business coaching business “The Tradie Coach.”

The Tradie Coach was my fight - it was about “giving back” my corporate builders knowledge to salt-of-the-earth tradies to keep them safe in the construction industry.

I know what it feels like to be at a crossroads in midlife

But, 4 years later, in July 2019, age 35, I was at a crossroads. I was making great money, yet I wasn’t happy in this career. Even having the control of running my own show, I felt dead inside. On top of that my physical and mental health was suffering. I was 20 kilos overweight. I was depressed. Stress had caused me severe lower back pain. Years of coping using alcohol had caught up with me - I was an alcoholic. I came to the conclusion that this “is not sustainable.”

I’d spent 18 years in construction and dreaded the thought that the next 30 years would be a continuation of my current situation. In fact, I didn’t think I’d make it. I was terrified - construction was all I’d known since I was 17. But, I’d had enough. My health demanded a new career.

So, I bit the bullet and left construction.

I’ve been through a midlife career reinvention

I then went through a midlife career reinvention. I took an eight-month career holiday “time out”, let go of the old me, let go of conforming to societies imposed rules and climbing the social ladder, made peace with the 5 things that cause anxiety in midlife, ditched the booze, found yoga and noticed the depression fall away.

I then followed my “inner calling” need to contribute to a cause bigger than myself. To “give back” to the community. This was my second round of giving back. But this time it wasn’t about business. Instead, it was about giving back my ‘personal’ midlife “lessons learned” to empower other men.

Men’s Midlife Coach

After getting over my midlife obstacles and going through a career reinvention, I noticed other men in the same boat. But there weren’t coaches out there that understood what midlife was like for men or coaches who had expertise in midlife change to help them in life or career.

So I set out to provide a specialist life and career coaching service that helped men in midlife. I went back to school to study counselling and psychology, and became a men’s midlife coach.

I connected the dots across my midlife career reinvention, the psychology of midlife, social psychology, personal change theory and seeing midlife career reinvention in clients and others. I packaged that knowledge up, filtered it thorough my qualifications in counselling and psychology and translated it into practical steps and tools to coach men in midlife.

The result was that I was out of the corporate hustle culture and high pressure construction industry, and into a more balanced lifestyle friendly meaningful life where I could make a difference in the world.

Now at 40, there’s nothing that lights me up more than seeing my clients smile again, hearing them talk about starting their own businesses or taking big rewarding career leaps.

Is your story similar to mine?

You’ve come to the right bloke.

call now to book an appointment

P. 0427 390 970

“It’s not just career coaching or life coaching - it feels like a service tailored just for me. Tom is so great at cutting through the bullshit, identifying the real problems, and finding the clarity to get past them.”
-Mark
“Tom is the key that unlocked my potential. Everything feels achievable now. Before it was just a pipe dream.”
-Matt
“Tom’s like Tyrion Lannister, the ‘Hand of The King’ from Game of Thrones.”
-Graham

Quals, Cred & Experience

- Diploma (HD), Counselling & Psychotherapy (2020)
- Bachelor of Science (Hons) Degree, Construction Management (2007)
- Higher National Diploma, Civil Engineering (2005)
- Applying Gestalt Therapy to the Drama Triangle - Gestalt Therapy Australia (2024)
- Theory and Practice of Gestalt Therapy - Gestalt Therapy Australia (2024)
- Schema Therapy Level 1 - Schema Therapy Training Online (2023)
- Solution Focused Brief Therapy - Brief Therapy Institute of Sydney (2023)
- Dads Tuning Into Kids Parenting Program Facilitator (Parenting Program Specifically for Dads) - Mindful Centre: University of Melbourne (2023)
- The Body Keeps the Score: Trauma, Attachment and Neuroscience - Bessel van der Kolk, Byron Clinic (2023)
- Tuning Into Kids Parenting Program Facilitator - Mindful Centre: University of Melbourne (2022)
- Narrative Therapy – PDP (2021)
- Couples Counselling (Gottman Level 1) - Relationships Institute Australia (2021)
- Mental Health First Aider - MHFA (2021)
- Family Systems Counselling - Williamsroad Family Therapy Centre (2021)
- Agile Leadership Certified Professional (ICP) ICAgile (2019)
- Agile Leadership Product Ownership (ICP-APO) ICAgile (2019)
- Scrum Master (PSM1) Scrum (2019)
- Visual Facilitation and Storytelling - Visual Friends (Bikablo) (2019)
- Facilitation Skills – PDT (2019)
- Internal Family Systems (IFS) Model Workshop – Experiential Therapies Institute (2019)
- Body Wisdom Therapy – Pat Ogden, Byron Clinic (2019)
- Advanced Counselling Skills – Cairnmillar (2019)
- Public Speaking - Improve Your Public Speaking (2018)
- Maximising Your Leadership Potential – Melbourne Business School (2014)
- Project management, Leading Teams and Manage Resources - Master Builders Association of Victoria (2010)
- Wim Hof Method - Breath & Ice Experience - The Fifth Direction (2021)
- HeartMath: The Shaman's Heart - The Fifth Direction (2020)
- Kambo - ancient tree frog medicine to unblock your subconscious - The Fifth Direction (2019)
- Reclaiming Your Intuition - Jackie Kenner (2019)
- Pellowah Level 1 & 2 - Jeremy O’Carroll (2019)
- Reiki Level 1 & 2 – Connect-Balance-Grow (2019)
- Vipassana Meditation - 100 hours of meditation in 10 days (10 day silent retreat) - India (2019)
- 5+ years Men's Midlife Coaching.
- 4 years in Building & Construction, Business Coaching Commercial Trade Businesses.
- 8 years in Building & Construction, for Rendine and ADCO as a Contracts Administrator and Project Manager.
- 1 year in Offshore Oil & Gas, for Fugro as a Project Manager.
- 6 years in Civil Engineering (UK), for Balfour Beatty (like a John Holland) as a Site Civil Engineer.
- Changed career 5 times.
- Small business owner/operator.
- I was born in England, in a small city called Norwich. Norwich is on the East coast of England, about 2 hours drive North of London. Norwich's probably most famous thing is mustard (and Norwich city football club). I'm a country boy (well, English country).
- My parents divorced when I was 5. I grew up half the time on a farm with my grandparents, the other half on a housing estate with my mum and saw my dad every other weekend.
- Unfortunately, childhood was on the tougher side. My family members all had their mental health battles - anxiety, depression, PTSD, autism, attempted suicide, completed suicide, family violence, addictions, and borderline personality disorder.
- I've had my own battles with anxiety, stress and depression. See my stress story here
- I'm an ex-drinker. I've been sober since February 2020.
- I've travelled across the USA, Australia, India, South Africa, and South East Asia.
- I Immigrated from the UK to Australia in January 2008, aged 23. I became an Australian Citizen in 2018.
- I've been doing yoga since 2018 with Radian Sol Yoga, Yoke Yoga , Yoke Yoga and Disco Yoga
- I've researched many topics to improve performance. See the best of it here
- I've sat in many men’s circles (men’s support groups) with the Fifth Direction
- I have a team of coaches, mentors, counsellors and psychologists that I’ve been seeing since 2015.
- I've read 300+ books on leadership, coaching, human behaviour, psychology, motivation etc. See some of the best book notes here