Reading 300 Non-Fiction Books Took Me Through 7 Levels of Self-Awareness
In 2013, age 29, I read my first non-fiction book.
It was Allan and Barbara Peases “The Definitive Book of Body Language.”
I was working in project management and understanding body language translated into influencing others to get work done.
Now, in 2023, 10 years later, age 39, I’ve read 300 non-fiction books.
Surprisingly, reading non-fiction books has massively increased my self-awareness.
My motivation to read non-fiction wasn’t to increase my self-awareness. Rather, I set out to read just as a way to be better at work. I didn’t expected to learn about myself. Self-awareness was an unexpected but handy by-product.
The benefit of this self-awareness is:
I’m now better able to manage and regulate my emotions
I communicate better
I make better decisions
I can now see things from multiple perspectives
My relationships have improved
I’m more confident
I have higher feelings of contentment and happiness
Looking back now, I realise that reading non-fiction books was a useful tool for developing self-awareness which had multiple benefits and that there were 7-levels of self-awareness that I went through, with corresponding books at each level.
This blog is going to:
Define what self-awareness is.
Give you examples of someone lacking self-awareness.
Give you tips for how to be more self-aware.
Explain why non-fiction books are a useful tool for developing self-awareness.
Layout my 7-levels of self-awareness and
Show you how you can use this blog to increase your own self-awareness.
8 minute read
What is Self-Awareness?
Self-awareness is the ability to objectively evaluate if your:
External world:
The world outside you - how others see you and how others around you feel.
is aligning with your
Internal world:
What’s going on inside you - how clearly you see yourself: your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, values, morals, motivations, actions, how you see others and how you see others perspectives.
and examine if there are any
Blind Spots:
That negatively distort reality between the two. This is the unconscious stuff. The stuff that happens on autopilot. Things like limiting beliefs, cognitive biases, tendencies, mental maps, faulty thinking, scripts, rules, distorted perceptions and unhelpful stories you tell yourself.
The goal then, of self-awareness is for your internal response to be in accordance with the reality of the external world.
Signs You Lack Self-Awareness
Here are a couple of examples to bring some clarity to what self-awareness is and how to gain more of it.
Viewing Feedback as Criticism
External world: Say your boss gives you praise all week about your work. But, the next week gives you some feedback to improve a document you’ve created.
Internal world: You view this feedback as criticism with the thought “he’s having a crack at my work” and react defensively.
Blind spot: You have a blind spot (rule, belief or story) that says something like “If my work is not perfect, I’m not competent.” that acts like a “filter” distorting the reality: how you see yourself is not how others see you.
Gaining self-awareness: in this case is done by introspecting, judging the rightness of your thoughts “was he really having a crack at my work?”
Complaining
Internal world: Every time you see your friend, you complain about work.
External world: At first your friend goes along with it. But after a while she cant put up with it. She starts not responding to your texts for a catch-up.
Back to Internal world: You feel angry because your friend is “ghosting you.”
Blind spot: You have not recognised the effect you are having on others.
Gaining self-awareness: In this case is done by asking “did I do anything to cause this?”
The Banana
External world: To other people the banana is a beautiful looking banana.
Internal world: But to the banana, all he sees is “he’s going off.”
Blind spot: “He feels like he’s never enough.”
Gaining self-awareness: In this case is done by asking “why do I feel like I’m never enough?”
How Do I Be More Self-Aware?
It makes sense then, that to be more self-aware, there needs to be an inquiry into your external world (how others see you), your internal world (how you see yourself and how you see others) and your blind spots.
You can do this by:
Getting feedback from trusted people about how they see you.
Introspectively evaluate your thoughts, feelings and actions to check they're in touch with reality.
Waiting to respond to an email, text, conversation or phone call until the next day.
Role play future conversations either ‘in your mind’ by scripting your delivery and anticipate the response to that delivery or ‘practically’ using chairs and playing both roles and notice how you would respond to the other person.
During a conversation Imagining yourself in the other persons shoes receiving what you are saying or imagining that you are floating above the conversation objectively observing how each person receives the others delivery.
After a conversation, deconstruct it - what did you hear yourself say? Why did you say that? How did they respond to what you said? You’ll get to know who you are in conversation.
Seeing a coach, psychologist or therapist to understand your blind spots.
and of course, the point of this blog “reading more non-fiction books.”
Back to the books.
Why Were The Non-Fiction Books Useful For Self-Awareness?
The books taught me about my external world (how others see me), my internal world (how I see myself and how I see others) and my blind spots.
The great part about reading is that self-awareness is developed in private. There’s no fear of feedback, or social fumblings or worry what people think of you. Books build your self-awareness armour in preparation for feedback from the external world.
This is how non-fiction books built my self-awareness:
Input:
Read books and take in new information on the external world, my internal world and my blind spots.
Process:
Compare existing knowledge with new information which produced self-awareness, insight and “aha moments.” At this step, I said things like “oh, I didn’t think of looking at it like that before” “oh…that’s why I I do that” “that’s how biases work.”
Output:
Take new action (new choices, decisions or behaviours) based on what I’ve learned.
Reflection:
Reflect on the outcomes of the new action - creating a deeper level of self-awareness with the question: were their benefits of the new action?
Let’s go back to 2013 and see where I started reading just to be better at work and follow the non-fiction reading self-awareness trail from there.
The Self-Awareness Trail
In 2013, aged 29, I was project managing the construction of a famous $30 million dollar sports facility. Leading over 140 people on a construction site was overwhelming. So, I read about leadership, communication and management. I became aware that I if I adapted my ways of communicating I could influence others to get work done.
Then, In 2015, aged 31, I started a business coaching business. I had no idea how to run a business, let alone coach people to improve ‘their’ businesses. To make up for my lack of business acumen, I started reading about business, sales, marketing and organisational change. I became aware that the more I learnt about business the faster my business grew and the more I could earn.
In 2016, aged 32, I quickly realised that coaching businesses meant that part of my job was to role-model high-performing ways of operating in life. Well, I felt far from capable of doing that. So, I read self-help books on the ego, values, motivation and habits. I became aware that the more I improved myself, the more I could improve the careers and lives of others.
After a few years of running my own show, in 2018, aged 34, even with the aid of the self-help books, I was directionless and lost. I needed to locate who I was. So, I read books about spirituality, religion, meaning and philosophy. I became aware of who I am - my identity.
Then in 2019, aged 35, I felt the compulsion to express myself in writing. I became aware that creativity was a way to express my identity.
By 2020, aged 36, I picked up books searching for answers for my stress and addiction to alcohol. While reading these books, I became aware that my identity, including who I am, what I believe, how I operate in the world and my psychological make up, is influenced by my childhood, parents and family history.
In 2021, aged 37, following Covid-19 lockdown, I began questioning the motivations of governments. So, I read books about governments, media, politics and society. While reading these books, I became aware that my childhood and my identity, is influenced by the society we live in and the governments that run that society.
By 2023, aged 39, I started to have fears about my own existence. I became aware that many of the problems we experience in life come because of trying to avoid death and hold on to immortality.
The 7 Levels of Self-Awareness
What I can see looking back over the 10 years of reading is that my trail went through a 7 level self-awareness framework.
I started off reading books on Level 1 career, work and business at the top. Then I moved down uncovering one self-awareness level at a time until I finished up reading books on Level 7 existence and death at the bottom. My self-awareness increased as I went down the levels.
The 7 levels are:
Career, Work and Business
Self-Help
Identity
Creativity
Childhood and Psychology
Government, Politics and Society
Existence and Death
I have also reflected on how I navigated the territory through the books.
There are a number of things that I recognise:
My motivations for reading non-fiction was: (1) I was in pain or adversity; (2) So, I read non-fiction books to: find answers, seek a solution, discover how things work, understand a topic, learn something, look for instructions or improve my knowledge, in order to; (3) overcome the pain or adversity; (4) The outcome of which made me better at something. But, an unexpected by-product of this process was an increase in self-awareness.
I didn’t have an intentional route through the book territory. It was a process of just following one interest to the next. Reading an author I loved, then finding books written by their mentor. Reading one thinker I loved, then finding the people that thinker loved. I was like Hansel following the trail of breadcrumbs.
A self-help book is a distilled simplified version of philosophy, psychology or religion. So I found the books the self-help author had read and followed the trail back to the source.
I moved through level-by-level constantly just on the edge of my comfort zone. Moving down a few levels too fast would have been too confronting. For example, I didn’t start off reading Level 5 - Childhood and Psychology about “heavier” stuff like childhood trauma and brain development. I started off with Level 1 - Career, Work and Business. Level 5 wasn’t accessible until I’d uncovered levels 1-4.
I lingered around on a level for a year or so before moving to the next level down.
It makes sense to dip into different levels at different points in life. I started reading these books at 29 when i was frantically climbing the corporate ladder and finished at 39, near mid life, questioning my existence.
You may be wondering why books? Why not podcasts or You Tube? The fact is, they’re great too. You can see a list of what I’ve watched or listened to, to improve my performance in life here. But for me books gave me the source material, the detail and the depth.
Here is what I read in each of the 7 levels.
Level 1 - Career, Work and Business
Self-awareness Inquiry Questions: How do I be better? How do I see others?
Self-awareness Evaluation: Level 1 is about your internal world - in particular how you see others and getting them to do what you want.
Topics Include: Business, leadership, teamwork, management, change management, organisational change, sales, marketing, culture, visions, strategy, accounting, finance, money, economics, bitcoin, consulting, entrepreneurship, career progression, interview skills.
Benefits of Self-Awareness Level 1 Books: I became aware that I if I adapted my ways of communicating I could influence others to get work done.
The Best Authors at This Level:
Seth Godin (Marketing)
Simon Sinek (Leadership)
Zig Ziglar (Sales)
Michael Gerber (Entrepreneurship)
The Best Books I Read at This Level:
Level 2 - Self-Help
Self-awareness Inquiry Questions: How do i manage myself? How do i see myself?
Self-awareness Evaluation: Level 2 is about your internal world - You’re beginning to uncover how you see yourself and your external world - You’re beginning to recognise that you can improve how others around you feel. At this level though, you haven’t figured out yet how others see you.
Topics Include: habits, ego, mindset, talent, skills, limiting beliefs, perceptions, personal change, mental maps, scripts, mindfulness, vulnerability, courage, values, success, wealth, investing, financial independence, happiness, social media, emotions, feelings, gratitude, empathy, sustainability, desire, visions, purpose, passion, persistence, grit, direction.
Benefits of Self-Awareness Level 2 Books: I became aware: (1) Of what the ego was, how the ego worked which meant I could be aware of when my ego was triggered; (2) That ‘I had’ values which made me move towards the things I value; (3) Of my own power to change my mindset; (4) That the more I improved myself, the more I could improve the careers and lives of others.
The Best Authors at This Level:
The Best Books I Read at This Level:
Level 3 - Identity
Self-awareness Inquiry Questions: Who am I? How do I see myself?
Self-awareness Evaluation: Level 3 is about your internal world - You’re deepening how you see yourself.
Topics Include: Identity, meaning, energy, spirituality, philosophy, ancient texts, religion, past lives, search for self, consciousness, the present moment, meditation, yoga, why are we here? Buddhism, Tao, Stoicism, soul, pain/pleasure, witness of the mind, suffering, enlightenment, ignorance, reality, craving and aversion, self-actualisation, guru’s, myths and archetypes, hero’s journey, masculine and feminine, ying and yang.
Benefits of Self-Awareness Level 3 Books: I became aware of who I am.
The Best Authors at This Level:
The Best Books I Read at This Level:
Level 4 - Creativity
Self-awareness Inquiry Questions: Who am I? What do i see in myself by what I produce? How does what I produce show who I am?
Self-awareness Evaluation: Level 4 is about your internal world - You’re revealing yourself for you and the world to see.
Topics Include: self expression, art, music, dance, writing, literature, blogging, sewing, painting, drawing, following the inner voice - the inner calling, turning inward, a method of outer expression to inner feelings, listen to the signs and messages within, following an individual path, the outer production is a reflection of the inner world, development of previously ignored or sacrificed aspects of self.
Benefits of Self-Awareness Level 4 Books: Writing was a way for me to become aware of my inner thoughts and feelings.
The Best Authors at This Level:
The Best Books I Read at This Level:
Level 5 - Childhood and Psychology
Self-awareness Inquiry Questions: How did childhood influence who I am and how I interact with others?
Self-awareness Evaluation: Level 5 is about your blind spots - the unconscious relational templates, mental maps, defaults and tendencies you hold about “self and other” that you learned at a young age, that run in the background of your awareness causing an unhelpful effect to your sense of self, your expectations about life, and the quality of your relationships. It’s also about your external world - how others saw you in the past and how they see you now. And how this external world shaped your internal world - your deep-seated stories and beliefs that form how you see yourself and how you see others.
Topics Include: Trauma, inter-generational trauma, childhood abuse, psychology, addictions, stress, birth order, siblings, how we were parented, the brain, neuroscience, epigenetics, PTSD, schemas, past programming, childhood conditioning, re-parenting, attachment, healing, the stories we tell ourselves, safety, human development, child development, human needs, anger, repression, depression, anxiety, shame, conditions of worth, intimate relationships, shadow work (Jung), relationship with parents, unconscious patterns, self-imposed rules, self-acceptance.
Benefits of Self-Awareness Level 5 Books: I became aware: (1) that ‘I did’ experience childhood trauma, which explained my faulty relational templates and my tendency to depend on alcohol; (2) that my mum saw me as someone to take care of her, which formed my belief to ‘feel responsible for others.’
The Best Authors at This Level:
The Best Books I Read at This Level:
Level 6 - Government, Politics and Society
Self-awareness Inquiry Questions: How has government and society influenced who I am, how I see myself, how I see others and how others see me?
Self-awareness Evaluation: Level 6 is about your internal world - how you see yourself and how you see others, and your external world - how others see you.
Topics Include:
Government / Politics: world power, control, fear, government, capitalism, capitalism vs. the climate, colonialism, neo-colonialism, imperialism, free-trade, poverty, neolibralism, activism, oligarchy, free-market, corporate political contributions, corporate control, manipulation of public opinion in voting, carbon offsets, profiting from climate crisis, fossil fuel disasters, conservation group links (donations, partnerships, investing) with fossil fuel industries, fossil fuel industry climate change denial, de-regulation, de-unionisation, the third world is the product of four centuries of capitalism, ‘foreign aid’ used by rich countries as a tool to create economic dependency on poor countries, poor countries in the third world exploited and purposely kept underdevelped by rich imperialist countries (USA, Britain, France, Belgium) via multinational corporations for profit, Western powers maintain covert control over third world countries, poor countries are economical and political appendages of rich countries, rich countries fixing price of products from poor countries, USA use of CIA organised coups and military invasion to overthrow third world governments, profit over people, free trade agreements, USA seizing global power after WW2, World Bank, IMF (international monetary fund), WTO (World Trade Organisation), corporate lobbying, privatisation of Government (public) assets, manufactured wants, control of resources (coal, gas, oil, water, mining, land, trees),“the system”, de-humanisation, war, the constant presence of the US in global warfare, coups, terrorism, media bias to meet government agendas, the medias role to control the public mind.
Society: evolution, social psychology, freedom vs security, safety, playing the game, history, caste, racism, othering, social status, social ladder, superiority, prestige, social norms and rules, social constructs, the meaning of socially defined roles, conformity, debt, material world, consumerism.
Benefits of Self-Awareness Level 6 Books: I became aware: (1) of how the world and society works, which meant that I could work out where to position myself in them; (2) That others may view me as a ‘middle aged-white man from a western powerful country;’ (3) That we are conscripted into societies rules and norms, without our permission; (4) That I had a naive view of how the world worked; (5) That my life is profoundly influenced by world history; (6) That I feel disgusted to think of what Britain and Europe did during colonisation; (7) That countries behave the way that humans behave.
The Best Authors at This Level:
Noam Chomsky (Government/Politics - US Focus)
John Pilger (Government/Politics - Australia Focus)
Naomi Klein (Government/Politics)
Jason Hickel (Government/Politics)
Erich Fromm (Society)
Isabel Wilkerson (Society)
The Best Books I Read at This Level:
Level 7 - Existence and Death
Self-awareness Inquiry Questions: Who am I after death? How will others see me after death?
Self-awareness Evaluation: Level 7 is about your Internal world and Blind-spots.
Topics Include: Mortality, death, dying, ageing process, grief, loss, existence, existential psychology, immortality projects, responsibility, aloneness, how to die, how death affects life, how dying works in different cultures, how society views death.
Benefits of Self-Awareness Level 7 Books: I became aware of my own fears about death.
The Best Authors at This Level:
The Best Books I Read at This Level:
How You Can Use This Blog to Increase Your Own Self-Awareness
I have laid out a sequence of levels with what to read at each level to increase your self-awareness.
Armed with this information, there’s now no more ambiguity on what book to read to be more self-aware.
if you’re interested and “ready” to learn about how your childhood influenced who you are, you can jump to level 5 books - childhood and psychology and pick one of those or follow one of the recommended authors.
If you’re plagued by the question, who am I? you can jump to level 3 books - Identity and pick one of those or follow one of the recommended authors.
Start with a book or an author and follow your own self-awareness trail.
The Process of Writing This Blog
Recently, I’ve begun to share the process for how I write blogs.
Here’s how I do it:
An idea comes to me - sometimes a 3am where In a sleep deprived slumber I write down initial ideas and concepts in a notebook. Ideas usually emerge from my existing knowledge bumping into patterns I’ve seen in the world.
The blog then is made up of existing knowledge + patterns in the world which is then filtered and told through my own direct experience.
I then explain the idea visually on one page. The visual acts like an anchor keeping me on track.
I expand on the visual, writing the bones of the blog. All by hand.
I then shut the book and leave it.
Over the next few weeks the blog surfaces in my mind sometimes on the toilet or in the shower. I “hop up or hop out” and hurry to the notebook and refine the wording.
I dive in to research to pull out evidence to support the blog concept.
At some point, the blog is 80% done and ready to type it up on my laptop. I only use a laptop for finishing. Before that It’s all by hand.
I draw up visuals using adobe spark and add photos to bring feeling to the blog.
I check the layout, fonts, wording, spelling & grammar and research/quote links.
Then I hit publish and it’s out there for the world to see.
Here are a few photos of how this blog developed.
