Slow: Simple Living For a Frantic World
Brooke McAlary
Description
Once upon a time, it became clear to Brooke McAlary that the key to happiness was discovering a simpler, more fulfilling existence. She put the brakes on her stressful path, and reorganised her life to live outside the status-quo, emphasising depth, connection and meaningful experiences. Alongside Brooke's affirming personal stories of breaking down and rising up, Slow provides practical advice and fascinating insights into the benefits and challenges of the slow life, such as:
Decluttering to de-owning
Messiness to mindfulness
Asking why, to asking where to now?
Slow is an inspirational guide on creating a life filled with the things that really matter, and is meant for anyone seeking peace, meaning, and joy in their otherwise rapid lives. Slowly―of course.
Key words: Mindfulness, Slow Living
To read reviews of this book visit Goodreads
My Notes
Dear Mr and Mrs Jones,
I am writing to inform you of my withdrawal from the race to keep up with you. It has come to my attention that prolonged attempts to compete with you have been detrimental to my health, my bank account, my self-confidence and my ability to feel content. This is a price I am no longer willing to pay.
I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I’m resentful. I yearn for the simple things. Lying on the grass watching the clouds. Taking a spontaneous drive to the beach. Evenings spent beside a backyard campfire. The undeniable joy of coaxing a seed to life in the dirt. Family movie nights. Long walks to nowhere in particular. Writing by hand, for fun. Weekends not completely over-run by sports and parties and activities and events and places to be and seen.
It is abundantly clear that I have far more to lose by continuing to compete with you, and I now find my previous role unacceptable.
Please accept this letter as my official notice, effective immediately.
Yours sincerely,
Brooke.
This life of less stuff, less stress, fewer obligations and fewer pressures was actually a life of more – more time, more energy, more freedom, more joy, more presence, more connection and more health.
Do less and embrace the lost art of downtime.
We buy things we can’t afford, to impress people we don’t like.
Step off the evolving carousel of want-buy-want-upgrade.
Caring more about caring less – that is, working out what’s worth caring more about, and letting go of the things that aren’t.
Caring more and caring less. Saying yes and saying no.
So, while this book opens by telling the Joneses where they can stick their version of a perfect life, it actually has very little to do with them and everything to do with you.
I didn’t have a personal philosophy or even a set of values on which to frame and build my life. I was simply existing.
Aristotle said, “we are what we repeatedly do”.
Leave a legacy – what kind of life would I need to live in order for people to say the things I wanted them to say about me.
I’d been introverted and loved being alone, but always warm and open to other people I met and happy to put myself in front of them if I thought I could help.
Thank you for our roots but thank you even more for our wings.
The barometer of caring.
When I looked closely at the times, I felt good, the moments I was happy, the days I woke with energy and passion, I began to work out what inspired me and helped me feel good. I started to pay attention to what I was listening to, what I was reading, what I was eating, what I was spending my time thinking about and valuing.
In short, I began paying attention to the inputs in my life and started to understand that I was capable of improving the quality of those inputs.
Do the work (again) – earn your chops. It means to do the work. To put in the hours and commit to the process to gain in skill or knowledge in a particular area.
What reading a book or listening to a podcast didn’t do for me, however, was do the work.
No one was going to deliver a magic solution and help me live better. I had to earn my chops.
I was starting to formulate a notion of my personal philosophy. And here it is: do the work!!!!!
Because it is in the doing, that we learn. And it is in the learning that we find our reasons. And it’s in those reasons that we find our strength and conviction. And from there you can do anything.
Clutter is deferred decisions. It’s the physical manifestation of procrastination.
A writer was asked how to overcome the difficult nature of writing (to which, right at this very moment, I can personally attest). She replied, “Writing is hard for every last one of us…coal mining is harder. Do you think miners stand around all day talking about how hard it is to mine for coal? They do not. They simply dig.” So simply dig.
Acknowledge the fact that we have changed, and time has moved on.
I eventually gave away all of that jewellery, because I’d realised that, while it sat in my studio, it was holding me back.
Plus, no one enjoys being the shrew, so take that hat off and start looking after the actions you can control – your own.
Part of sharing a home with someone is openness to a certain level of compromise. Remember, the reason you-re slowing down and simplifying is to make life better, so don’t add a whole heap of stress to the equation unnecessarily.
If we want change, we need to learn how to care less and how to care more. Care less about trends, status and the outward signs of ‘success’, and more about the important things. And we also need a good dose of gratitude.
I’ve had opportunity, where others less fortunate haven’t. I now believe it’s only something to be ashamed of if we don’t do anything with it.
Don’t be a mindless buyer. Pay attention to your inputs.
Whatever issues are most important to you, make a choice to support those doing good in the world.
So, care less. Start questioning those trends and whether your need is a true need, or simply, a want. Care less about your ego. Care less about ownership. Care less about fads. Care less about the opinions of people you will never know. And yes, care less about the Joneses.
But conversely, care more. Care more about the community and sharing resources. Care more about quality. Care more about the things you already own and use. Care more about the people making your stuff. Care more about the planet.
People do notice things and things to change. Over time people start paying attention to what you’re doing, how you’re living, the choices you’re making and why you’re making them.
You tell them why, they hear you.
We need to feel optimistic ad confident that our choices do matter.
Every day I would find time to notice things, to practice tiny moments of mindfulness – spending time outside, breathing in the scent of flowers, studying the bees and feeling the sun on my skin.
Think of a sponge made up of a myriad of tiny holes and gaps that fill up throughout the day. Work, friends, family, health, politics, new headlines and social media updates, fill these holes until the sponge is soaked through. And a soaking wet sponge is completely useless at mopping up spills because it’s already too full. What mindfulness does is give that sponge a gentle squeeze, releasing some of the excess and making space again, making the sponge effective once more.
There is payment involved, but I think you’re good for it, because in order to live a mindful life, you need to simply ‘pay’ attention.
It’s paying attention to what you feel, what you hear, taste, smell and see.
The act, the process of creating brings us to the present moment, allow us to leave behind concerns of our past and worries for the future. Making, rather than consuming, is a beautiful act of mindfulness.
Let go of the thoughts and feelings that no longer serve you.
Deep breathing - There are pockets of time there for you, and the good news is they can be very brief but still have a positive impact.
Being able to form positive habits, to have strong willpower and decision-making muscles, is another by-product of mindfulness that has incredibly positive implications. Learning to establish positive habits in the ways we think and experience the world translates to an ability to form better habits around what we eat, how we move and what actions we choose to take.
I think it’s the idea of not being constantly available, or the expectation that I will be, that I find most attractive.
We choose to use social media to tell stories about ourselves, to signal the kind of person we want the world to think we are. The technology isn’t the problem, it’s how we chose to use it. And it is a choice.
The endless comparisons on social media are exhausting and damaging…. this is a game we will never win, and as long as we keep playing it, we’ll never find contentment.
Slow living is a call to disconnect. Switch off our phones and get outside. Talk to people at the coffee shop. Offer a stranger an anonymous kindness. Volunteer our time to others. Have a spirited conversation with someone who doesn’t see the world like we do. Invite depth into our lives. Feel the sun on our faces. View the night sky. Sit around a campfire. Listen to an entire album. Turn off the GPS and see what you discover. Use a phrasebook in a foreign country. Smile at someone with our face, and not our keyboard. Give our time or our money to causes that need it. Stand up and stand for something. Have a voice. Protest or support. Pay attention to the person sitting next to us.
Start small, start slow and start with awareness.
That what we so easily convince ourselves we’re completely present where we’re, at best, distracted and, at worst, total absent in all ways but the physical.
Slow living is about quality time, and making things count. These conversations matter. We listen to each other. We annoy each other, sure, but we love each other immensely and we turn up.
Social media – only sit at your desk.
Only check emails, when you have time to answer them.
Leave your phone behind. In the old days you were uncontactable.
It makes me realise just how much I underestimate the energy cost of being constantly connected.
Have a conversation and connect.
Fill your own cup, so you can fill the cups of others.
Small imperfect action every day, is going to get me further than one big occasional change.
The lightness I feel when I acknowledge that, right here, right now is enough, is a letting go. Its contentment born of gratitude.
Contentment is a quiet acceptance, a peacefulness, a calm amid the endless wanting. It brings peace.
Stop trying to do it all perfectly and instead embrace a wobbly kind of balance.
Balance is intention.
Learn to tilt - …it’s willingly pouring my attention into an area that needs it (or the area I need) and acknowledging that I will be tilting away from other parts of life. Tilting gave me permission to let go of perfection. I felt free.
Instead of commanding myself to go for a 30-minute run, I tell myself to put on my shoes, walk out the front door, and close it behind me. I’m on my way and would feel ridiculous turning around and going back inside. Once the task is underway, momentum takes over.
I work hard to get things done in order to give myself time for slow. In fact, I really like the adrenaline rush of a tight deadline.
To me going slow to go fast looks like tiny pockets of mindfulness, regular meditation, a consistent yoga practice, single-tasking, quality time with my loved ones and gratitude, which then deliver me the energy, margin and buffer to go fast when necessary.
Have three main tasks for each day.
Pay attention.
Pay attention to all areas of your life, making sure they don’t take a backslide.
Feel the lightness of simply sitting quietly.
What exists is honest, human, imperfect change.
Be courageous in letting go. When we let go, we gain lightness, clarity, space, time, energy, purpose, compassion, and acceptance. We allow ourselves to move forward. And slowly we discover that contentment and simplicity lie on the other side.
Living slow is an invitation to LIVE, not just exist.
If there is one thing I want you to take from this book: permission. It’s ok to be you.
